by Sherry Umlah
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from time
it’s that love can’t always be counted on,
but you can always count it in.
After a while, you learn there’s more than one kind of love
and that sometimes giving love
is easier than receiving it;
easier than losing it.
And if there are two things I’ve learned from time,
it’s that the wise man who said
‘it’s better to have loved and lost
than to never have loved at all,’
well, maybe he wasn’t wise
and maybe he never loved at all.
You can line up and count the hearts of those you loved.
You can count the number of years you loved them.
You can count the seconds of silence after the first time you told each other you loved one another;
Count the number of times your heart skipped beat.
You can count the number of days, hours, minutes, and seconds you spend apart aching and missing one another.
You can count the number of tears… of joy, of fear of losing joy, of unconditional love, of sacrifice, of wholeness.
You can pull the anniversary cards out of the drawers, dust them off and count the memories.
Count the photographs, the trips, the shared experiences.
You can count fingers, toes, and freckles – every strand of hair on her head.
You can count the number of times his chest rises and falls as he lays next to you sleeping.
Count shared sunrises and sunsets.
Count dreams.
You can count the arguments,
the times you made up,
and the times you just let it go.
Count those unexpected gifts at unexpected times.
In love, you can count this all in,
But it’s love that you can’t count on.
And when it’s gone and you remember the 5 years celebrated,
the 4 shared vacations spent engulfed in each other,
and the 3 bottles of wine
drunkenly shared between the 2 of you….
Just remember 1 thing…
No matter where you are in life – you can always count love in.
Love’s right there in the number of photographs in your family album.
The number of nights you spent staring at your child while he slept.
It’s right there in the number of anniversary cards in your drawer.
In the number of times you prayed for someone’s safety.
It’s there in the beauty of the sunrises and sunsets that rose and fell and
the number that will still rise and fall.
It’s right there in the number of times you laughed when you wanted to cry;
in the number of skipped heartbeats you can’t get back.
It’s there in the number of silent minutes you spent kissing with your eyes closed,
and the number of missed opportunities to kiss.
If you have to chalk it up to a lesson learned,
make it a lesson loved
and count love in.