by Sherry Umlah
This synthesis writing illustrates the role that perception and interpretation have in co-constructing identities and effectively communicating. It is based on the following six articles:
“Inhaling: Perception,” by John Stewart, Karen E. Zediker & Saskia Witteborn
In this article, the authors’ illustrated how our perception processes can affect our interpersonal communication. A key concept, covered by the authors, addressed how inference-making is influenced by stereotyping, impression formation, and attribution.
“Constructing Identities,” by John Stewart, Karen E. Zediker & Saskia Witteborn
The authors’ purpose for writing this article was to debunk the theory that we are separate, singular selves. One key concept, illustrated by the authors, is how our identities are relational and multidimensional, and how we continuously co-construct our selves through the identity negotiation or identity management part of communication.
Forming Online Identities, by Andrew F. Wood and Matthew J. Smith
In this article, Wood and Smith distinguished among anonymity, pseudonymity and identity, and discussed the ways we construct and alter our online identities. The key concept they addressed was the suggestion that computer-mediated communication allows us to construct identities through language and alter how our identity is perceived by others.
“Mother-Daughter E-mail and IM Communication,” by Deborah Tannen
Deborah Tannen’s purpose for writing this article was to describe how electronic communication can be used by mothers and daughters to create and negotiate the interplay of connection and control defining their relationship. One concept that Tannen outlined in her article suggested that using computer-mediated communication has liabilities, including a lack of feedback through reflected appraisal, facial expression, and vocal tone.
“Gendered Standpoints on Personal Relationships,” by Julia T. Wood
In this article, the author describes stereotypical male and female standpoints on personal relationships and how they are formed via socialization within gendered environments. One concept the author addressed is the suggestion that men and women experience and express intimacy differently, which can lead to misconceptions about each other’s view of the relationship.
“Mindful Listening,” by Rebecca Shafir
Shafir’s purpose for writing this article was to explain how multi-tasking can prevent effective listening and how being mindful can have a positive impact on our communication. One of the key concepts Shafir focused on in this article was her definition of a good listener. She defines a good listener as one who is mindful of a wide variety of listening skills including the ability to receive messages accurately and interpret them (the words, gestures, and facial expressions) in an unbiased manner.
Correlations
The repeating theme throughout all of these articles illustrates how communication and identities can be affected by our perception and interpretation of others’ messages. As authors Stewart, Zediker, and Witteborn point out in “Constructing Identities,” we are continuously co-constructing our identities, whether it’s in face-to-face communication or, as authors Wood and Smith would suggest in “Forming Online Identities,” through using computer-mediated communication. We play a role in forming others’ self-concepts when ascribing traits to others. Simultaneously, we manage our own identity based on the reflected appraisal we receive through others’ verbal, non-verbal, and linguistic cues.
The accuracy of our perceptions of the messages we receive determine the success of our ability to co-create our identities and communicate effectively. As Wood and Smith illustrated, in computer-mediated communication channels we rely on language to construct and alter how our identity is perceived by others. Deborah Tannen, author of “Mother-Daughter E-mail and IM Communication,” would agree, and points out that computer-mediated communication has liabilities that can affect the accuracy of our perceptions, including a lack of reflected appraisal, and a lack of facial expression and vocal tone. Wood and Smith suggested this lack of feedback provides for anonymity and allows us the opportunity to form alternate online identities, or pseudonyms. However, as the article “Constructing Identities” points out: identities are relational and multidimensional and rely on others to continuously co-construct them. Without reflected appraisal, facial expression, and vocal tone, our perceptions of identity and ability to co-construct an identity are significantly hindered.
In addition to the effects that the liabilities of computer-mediated communication can have on perception of identities and communication, there are also differences in gender that impact our ability to successfully interpret messages. It’s important to note, that these differences don’t change just because we’ve changed the channel of communication we use.
As author Julia T. Wood points out in “Gendered Standpoints on Personal Relationships,” there are stereotypical differences in how men and women communicate and perceive. As an example, women use the nonverbal cue of head nodding to send the message that they are listening and encourage the speaker to continue. Men tend to misinterpret this nonverbal gesture as a form of agreement with what they’re saying. Conversational styles vary between gender roles as well, with men leaning toward more adversarial conversations and debating or current events, and women focusing more on feelings and discussing relationships. In fact, women generate feelings of intimacy through talking about their relationship with their partners. However, men see no point in communicating about their relationship unless a problem exists. For men, communication is used to obtain objectives. These differences can lead men and women to perceive each other incorrectly and ascribe inaccurate traits to each other’s self-concept or identity. Men may perceive women as being dissatisfied with the relationship because it seems there is always a need to discuss it. Women may interpret men as disinterested in the relationship and not committed because they don’t want to talk about it.
Of course, all of these gender differences in communication are based on stereotypes. Men and women might not adhere to these stereotypes by adopting a gender role other than their biological sex. This makes it even more difficult to form accurate perceptions, since, as the article “Inhaling: Perceptions” points out, we base a lot of our perceptions and inference-making on stereotypes. If we ascribe the gender role of ‘woman’ to the person we’re speaking with and she has, instead, adopted the gender role of male, we are bound to misinterpret her messages as we make stereotypes about our inaccurate perception of her gender role. So, regardless of whether we’re aware of these gender differences or not, the fact that they may not always apply still makes us liable to make inaccurate perceptions and misinterpretations.
Despite the fact that it might seem impossible to accurately perceive and interpret others’ messages, I still agree with the belief of Rebecca Shafir, author of “Mindful Listening,” that mindful listening can improve our communication with others and help us to receive and interpret messages more accurately. Although there are too many cross-cultural and cross-gender differences in our conversational styles and mannerisms to accurately interpret messages without perception checking, mindful listening gives us the next best opportunity we have for accurate perception and interpretation. Simply being mindful of communication variances in groups, such as gender, age, and culture can help us to remember to use good listening skills that help us measure our understanding of the messages, such as paraphrasing and questioning.
Conclusion
These readings reinforce the importance of perception checking and being mindful of the potential for, or high likelihood of, misinterpretations to occur. Prior to reviewing these articles, I would have considered my perceptions and interpretations as highly accurate. I am very empathic and intuitive. However, I wasn’t aware of the number of variables that can impact our ability to perceive and interpret accurately.
We perceive the world and try to make sense of it through stereotyping, impression formation, and attribution. When receiving a wide variety of verbal, nonverbal, and linguistic cues, we give our best effort to interpret these messages. However, our perceptions can be affected by so many variables, including gender role, and our interpretations are founded on the limitations of our cognitive complexity. These limitations are emphasized even greater when we attempt to perceive and interpret messages that we receive via computer-mediated channels, which can lack feedback like facial expressions and vocal tone.
It’s evident to me, after reviewing these articles, to be a successful communicator it’s absolutely critical, in both computer-mediated communication and face-to-face communication, in cross-gender and same-gender communication, that we strive to practice mindful listening, implement more perception checks, use paraphrasing and questioning, and be fully aware of the liabilities of stereotypes and communication channels. I’d almost venture to say that all messages could be considered equivocal if the two communicators have extremely differing frameworks from which they perceive and interpret communication. While it’s innate and sometimes efficient for us to use stereotypes and nonverbal cues to perceive and interpret messages, I don’t think we can ever truly guarantee our understanding of another’s message without perception checking.